Before my ex bf swooped in, I was being primed by a friend I was becoming very close with. No, they didn't know each other, but looking back, I know they recognized the narc-personalitydisorderedevilbullshittery in each other. They wrestled each other for the supply I offered, but bc I'm a straight woman, her love bombing, although very good (she appealed to my creativity & I have many badass photos of her), lost to his wiles.
Some other day I can get into the pain he ripped open in me, but for today, here's what I need help with:
The unman I fell in love with is in his early 40's, I'm in my mid 40's. He has 3 sons. Including his exwife, all of that family is majorly fucked up & abusive, including the 6 year old EXCEPT the oldest. He's the only "sane" one. He's probably 19 now. A couple weeks before his 18th bday (legal sex age in the states) I found out he was seduced by my 30 year old """"friend"""" & since she lost me, she started up with him, who was a much better mark for her.
See where this is going yet? I have been no contact with her & the son for 2 + years, & almost 1 year w my ex (his dad).
So, my connection to the sane son is bc he's brilliant & bc *here's the coda/caring part if someone had reached out to me (none of my self-sought therapists were competent enough) when I was younger I def wouldn't have abused myself so severely with so many people & things for so long. So yes, I'm trying to save the younger me by saving him, which doesn't work (CODA 101), but also, I care about him. I messaged him for the first time recently, intending only to express myself & encourage him. I didn't expect a response but ended up in a convo with him. He was very close to suicide a couple weeks ago, is still with her & believes they are "the one" for each other. (I'd bet my life my ex-his dad, fucked his gf- my former bff, but whatever). He told me many thing incl. that he hears voices, but medication doesn't help. He's a wonderful young man that deserves to feel self love. I hate his parents like I hate what mine did to me. <- I'm clear on that shit.
In the attempt to keep this post as short as possible- do ya'll think there is anything I can do to help him besides being a good mom example & here if he decides he needs to talk? Should I keep my trap shut until I have a better grasp on the borderline two myself?
*By "sane" in his case, I mean not he's not personality disordered (no I'm not a dr. but I believe I am able to tell the difference btw people trying to be their best & those that are parasites. His emotions are scrambled like all narc victims.