Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support


    Do you ever feel like you're the one going insane?

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    mpmp

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2016-03-04

    Do you ever feel like you're the one going insane?

    Post by mpmp on Sat Mar 05, 2016 12:02 am

    Hi. I'm new to the forum. I got out of an abusive relationship with a sociopath not too long ago. I actually know he's a formally diagnosed sociopath (long story). My question is, have you ever felt that you're the one going crazy and that maybe it's all in your head? That you made it up and that it's perhaps you overreacting? I was diagnosed with cPTSD over a year ago and have been going to therapy every week. This relationship with the sociopath has triggered many things in me. I feel like I don't know what my reality is anymore. It would be great to hear from others' perspectives because I feel very confused.

    cherrylipgloss

    Posts : 8
    Join date : 2016-03-31

    Re: Do you ever feel like you're the one going insane?

    Post by cherrylipgloss on Fri Apr 01, 2016 12:12 am

    Rest assured, you're most definitely not alone in feeling you were insane or as though you dreamt things up. Have you seen the movie 'Doubt' with Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman by any chance? I HIGHLY recommend it. Although it's not about a romantic relationship, it's almost an eery glimpse into what it feels like to be caught up in one of these relationships. There's a line in the movie that rings particularly true: "Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty.”

    If you weren't doubting your own sanity or questioning whether you had exaggerated things, would you have stayed in the relationship at all? Probably not, right? This is intentional. I can tell you that I personally found myself constantly looking for self-help books, reading psychology articles, looking for a counsellor to help try to adjust my own 'sensitivity'. I even went and got Valium to 'calm' my (reasonable) reaction (to psychological abuse). Isn't that the exact idea? A sociopath/narcissist CANNOT manipulate you as long as you're not blaming yourself. What would be the point?

    If it's any consolation, it's been over a year for me and some of the stuff that my former narczilla did and said was just so incomprehensibly fucked up, that even to tell you would make *me* sound like a mental case. Because of this, I can't help but have moments where I still question myself. I find that writing a list of specific incidences down to look at during those moments of doubt can help put things back into perspective. It's easy to get carried away, debate yourself and rationalise away ONE incidence in your mind, but when you're confronted with a long list of them in view, you'll see there is NO WAY (even by the law of probability alone) that you could have gotten it so wrong each and every time.

    I think having doubt is a good thing in a way. It's testimony to your own sanity and character. If you COULD relate and wrap your head around the behaviour, you'd be a narcissist/sociopath yourself. Count your lucky stars that you have the humility in you to have a bit of doubt.

    dre!cali

    Posts : 4
    Join date : 2016-04-23
    Location : California, USA

    Re: Do you ever feel like you're the one going insane?

    Post by dre!cali on Sat Apr 23, 2016 3:30 pm

    Unfortunately I think it is pretty common to feel like you’re going crazy.  I know for me, I went through that a lot.  There were times where everything was so confusing and surreal that I would think, “It must be me”.  You’re lucky that you’ve found this information and you have a good therapist to work with.  Once I started to understand what was going on it really helped me to calm down.  

    In one of Richard’s older YouTube videos he talked about someone drinking your chocolate milkshake and basically while they are doing it, looking you straight in the eye they are denying that they are doing it.  I think that is an excellent example of how I would feel in dealing with my ex.  She would be so convincing in what she was saying that I would find myself questioning my own reality and wondering if “she wasn’t drinking my milkshake”.  

    I don’t know about you but I found the hour a week thing not really enough from my therapist and I inserted Richard’s stuff, as well as other books, websites and materials to help me get through the week.  For me, after time, I started to trust myself more but even with the progress I feel I’ve made I still have times where I question and doubt myself.

    Musicali

    Posts : 3
    Join date : 2016-06-09

    Re: Do you ever feel like you're the one going insane?

    Post by Musicali on Thu Jun 09, 2016 5:48 pm

    I did all the time. It's not til you're away from it and talking to other people that you get to see it clearly.

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