And when it is important to you, ignoring, using the grey rock, it's so much more difficult. e.g. i care for a feral clowder. in doing so, I have to find ways to feed them, protect them - I've been working with local rescue groups (the best I can as a current prisoner of the narc) to get cats fixed and safe from uneducated and unkind humans.
He has tried, multiple times, to ask questions, share articles, provide food - I've had to figure out "should I ignore him" or "do it for the cats". They use this so well against you. Your weaknesses - maybe things that aren't really weaknesses, but that you have a strong feeling about. If they can insinuate themselves into the middle of that, they think that you have to respond to them - give them supply.
It's maddening. I'm stuck with this narc until he decides to move out. I have no recourse at present. No doubt he knows that. So when his plans to suck in someone else fail, he returns to his kill and takes another bite out of me...and I have to figure out how not to respond and how to ignore and discourage further abuse.
Save yourself some major difficulties and don't accept ANYTHING from them. No matter how much you need it - just leave it lay. Let it rot - even if you have issues with waste - better it be a waste than they lay waste to your soul.