Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support


    Possibly learnt another answer.

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    dragongaurd

    Posts : 8
    Join date : 2015-09-28
    Age : 34
    Location : Australia

    Possibly learnt another answer.

    Post by dragongaurd on Wed Oct 07, 2015 3:26 pm

    I was watching Spartan Life Couch video on Bulimia and Mindfullness, My sister has struggled with Bulimia.
    I had never heard of body dismorphia, But I was aware about how people who suffer from anorexia will believe they see fat, even though there body fat percentage is extremely and dangerously low.
    A couple of points were made that I was familiar with myself, I looked up symptoms on various pages for a larger scale look at what could define it.
    To make it easier

    I am constantly fiddling with my hair, or picking at my nails,skin or clothing. ( I thought this may have been coming from the Complex PTSD and I can it still could be, things overlap.)
    I hate mirrors, Unless I am forced to look, I won't look, even reflections from glass etc.
    I always think that people are judging or thinking the worst in how I look.
    I developed quicker than most girls, and was in a D cup by the age of 14, this was mortifying for me, I had always covered up anyway but I would wear baggy to big for me clothes all the time, I never wore singlets, I have always hated my body. People used to always think I was a bigger girl because of the clothes I'd wear, but I was actually quite slim and I've always been muscular from exercise.
    You'd struggle to find Photos of me, I avoid the camera more than my own reflection.
    I hate people commenting on my appearance good or bad, and if it's good I'd just think they were being nice because I was ugly. I especially feel uncomfortable if I am being "checked out".
    I was teased as a kid, I wore glasses and harry potter hadn't made it cool yet. My 2 sisters were cruel to me, They made it aware that they hated me for having larger breasts and a smaller waist, If I put on make up or attempted to look nice I'd be teased and humiliated. Any special clothes I had would be either stretched or ruined by them.
    These days if I am doing something where I would be at the front or where I;d be seen by lots of people, or someone I like or even something that I think is important,
    I am extremely attentive to everything, clothes, hair, make up, no B.O but also not being heavy on perfume, I'd change my top if it had the tinniest of mark that wouldn't even be seen.
    I always think others are better looking than me.
    Anyway enough of that.

    I googled treatment options and first option was always medication that I am not interested in.
    But an option that seemed doable and fell into the recovery of complex PTSD.
    It was questioning the negative patterns the way we do with complex ptsd,
    Example, mark on my top, is it really going to be seen, or does it really matter if it is seen, what's the worst that could happen if it seen, but I guess also being compassionate and understanding to yourself, because I wouldn't care a bit if I seen that same mark on someone else, so why can't I be like that to myself.
    I hope that makes sense. But mostly I want to feel better about my physical self as I am becoming healthier and have more pride and respect for my inner self.
    Time for me to be much kinder on myself, I think.
    I am completely open to any other suggestions, thoughts or another perspective, anything to get stronger and healthier.


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