I spent 36 months in combat, and from it got PTSD, I keep it in control for many years. I was always positive, my first marriage ended due to never being home from deployments, I had no issue post marriage and kept a formal relationship with the mother because of the children, I was awarded the children, I dated for 17 years nothing serious, and kept my dating away from my children, so that I would not cause any undo stress on them. After they left home i started dating more in earnest. I met a co-worker and we talked alot over several years at the work place and ran into each other at book store, coffee shop, mall ect...
She invited me to a singles gathering since we both attended the same church. I went and she invited me over, needless to say, we decided to start dating, on our third date, she said she loved me, we married 3 months later, I found her attractive, well educated, she is a Doctor, and both have firm belief in God. I asked her children first, if it was ok to marry mom.
Well as we went down the road, because of the living conditions, my blood pressure went sky high and I stroked twice, my mental health got so bad I tired to take my own life 3 times, her 2 sons have also tried, one is a Alcoholic and got him out of the state and in AA and he is doing well and clean, second one in doing drugs, if it was not for me her son would be dead, because when he OD-ed she did not take him to hospital, I did, her brother committed suicide and her ex-husband is a alcoholic.
Because my first marriage failed, partially because of me and my deployments, I wanted to make up for it on second marriage, I had no boundaries, I rubbed her back nightly, painted her nails, washed her hair, took care of the children and all their activities, cooked and clean. I traded in my car for SUV so that she could sleep while we road tripped. My life became a denatured servant.
Question: could she actually be the trigger of my PTSD? Because issues of suicide and PTSD was not so strong there until her.
should I retain connected with the children, 2 are out the house and they call me Dad, they do not even call their Bio Father that.