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    Confusion - advice?

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    gigiminer

    Posts : 63
    Join date : 2014-08-17
    Age : 55
    Location : Upstate NY

    Confusion - advice?

    Post by gigiminer on Sun Jun 07, 2015 9:53 am

    I'm not sure if this is a "typical" people-pleaser thing, but any input is welcome.

    I find that there are times that I can't seem to distinguish when my triggers are pulled.  Is it an HSP thing?  Is my gut right?  Is it just a subconscious reaction to too much stimuli?  

    Many times, if I'm stuck, I'll use tarot to get me "out of my head" a bit.  The pictures help me offset the meltdown that seems to occur when my brain gets too carried away with the "what if's".  

    Still, there's that self-doubt that I'm misinterpreting something.  What do you all do to winnow your thoughts and feelings to get to the truth of the matter?
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    Neowuf

    Posts : 13
    Join date : 2015-05-23

    Re: Confusion - advice?

    Post by Neowuf on Wed Jun 10, 2015 4:18 am

    Im not sure if I understand the question, but what helps me a lot is write in my journal my Thoughts.
    I think two key words here are Cognitive biases and Heuristics, it is mental shortcuts our mind take and people can take advantage of it. It can be fun looking into ourselfs to find those little triggers.
    I am a INFP, probably HSP too, and one Ha-rá moment on this forum is that I look too much into myself to find my buttons and triggers, looking for something wrong with me when in reality there is nothing wrong in me, It was simple and direct abuse from the other person no matter What I do, How I feel, What I believe.
    But yeah.. journaling helps a lot, just be very careful to hide in a very safe place =)
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    gigiminer

    Posts : 63
    Join date : 2014-08-17
    Age : 55
    Location : Upstate NY

    tks

    Post by gigiminer on Wed Jun 10, 2015 10:30 am

    Thank you, Neowuf. I appreciate the reply. I'm sorry - sometimes what I'm trying to say doesn't make it thru translation from my brain to the keyboard. Very Happy Good intuiting on your part.

    That's what I was needing to understand...that it's not my fault (maybe my responsibility in what I do, but not my fault). I do tend to go back to the scapegoat mode and think that I may be reacting badly and not being true to myself. I don't want to become that from which I'm trying to heal. the HSP stuff does make it tougher.

    I keep listening to all of the course audios. I can't every day as I need to because I'm not alone every day. So, it has to be a kind of "covert healing". Weird, I know. But something is better than nothing, imho.

    Thanks again. Very Happy

    Otter

    Posts : 8
    Join date : 2015-08-18

    Re: Confusion - advice?

    Post by Otter on Tue Aug 18, 2015 8:50 pm

    It is sort of people pleasing in a way. Because if you are being triggered and then you immediately doubt that you are being triggered, who are you doubting it for? It's not for yourself, its not so that you can squash it down and oh yippie keep getting triggered. It is so that you don't have to make someone else uncomfortable by holding them accountable. Because trigger or not you are allowed to object to how someone treats you. Say someone made fun of your hat. You are allowed to say "Hey, don't dis my hat man". If they made fun of your hat and you got triggered you are STILL allowed to object, it is just that it feels bigger than it is. We do have to deal with the emotional aftermath, the flood of chemicals that overwhelms our bodies, but we still get to object to the stimulus that triggered it if we want to.
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    gigiminer

    Posts : 63
    Join date : 2014-08-17
    Age : 55
    Location : Upstate NY

    Re: Confusion - advice?

    Post by gigiminer on Wed Aug 19, 2015 9:29 am

    Thank you, Otter. That makes more sense to me. Very Happy
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    FeWolf

    Posts : 7
    Join date : 2015-08-25

    Re: Confusion - advice?

    Post by FeWolf on Tue Aug 25, 2015 10:41 pm

    I am trying mediation, and outdoors activity, the outdoors serve two purpose, good exercise of both the mind and body, walking, hiking and kayaking. With outdoors, my mind is consumed with the beauty around me, my body is getting the exercise it needs.
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    gigiminer

    Posts : 63
    Join date : 2014-08-17
    Age : 55
    Location : Upstate NY

    Re: Confusion - advice?

    Post by gigiminer on Wed Aug 26, 2015 7:29 am

    FeWolf - That would be very helpful. And I'll definitely try to get more of that. At present, I'm stuck. he's still in the house. I can't leave as there's no time that it isn't possible he'd come back. Then he'd likely harm my pets. So, I stand guard until he's gone. Then I am planning more walks and ventures out.
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    FeWolf

    Posts : 7
    Join date : 2015-08-25

    Re: Confusion - advice?

    Post by FeWolf on Wed Aug 26, 2015 10:59 am

    I understand, but atleast you try and you have a starting point and a plan, that is the start to a new beginning.
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    Leyla Loric

    Posts : 25
    Join date : 2015-09-26

    Re: Confusion - advice?

    Post by Leyla Loric on Sun Sep 27, 2015 12:01 am

    Gigiminer - As I read your post, I get the feeling of that you spend a lot of time with spinning thoughts in your head, which make you feel anxious.

    I find it helpful to become aware of every time I am anxious, and to thereafter consciously focus my thoughts into how my body feels. As a person with freeze/flight as my trauma response, I usually distract my mind with anything but to feel my feelings. To actively go against this, I find dissolves the spinning thoughts and the anxiety. Once I stop for a moment and focus away from my head and into the body I find sadness, anger, or helplessness. Then I have to sit with it and accept the feeling, truly feel and express it. This is also how it slowly weakens and disappears.

    Anxiety is a sign of hidden feelings, so to distract ourselves from it will not help in the long run. Your mind is trying to hide from pain, but the irony of it is that it is only in the present (when we become aware and accept what we feel) that we can heal. Only by facing it can we disempower it.

    I hope you find this helpful.

    Leyla Loric
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    gigiminer

    Posts : 63
    Join date : 2014-08-17
    Age : 55
    Location : Upstate NY

    Re: Confusion - advice?

    Post by gigiminer on Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:14 am

    Thank you, Leyla. I think I need to put up a bunch of sticky notes around my space to remind me to return to the now and get back into my body. Smile

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