Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support


    Ego Revenge

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    Undisclosed87

    Posts : 4
    Join date : 2015-05-09

    Ego Revenge

    Post by Undisclosed87 on Sat May 09, 2015 7:59 pm

    I am curious about egos and the need for revenge? Is that true narcissism or maybe response to repeated abuse from Narcs and Borderlines in an uncontrolled rage?

    When provoked, many people can go over the edge to focus and concentrate on retribution. It is unhealthy, yes, but a provoked response.

    "Fathers provoke not thy children to anger"
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    gigiminer

    Posts : 63
    Join date : 2014-08-17
    Age : 55
    Location : Upstate NY

    ego

    Post by gigiminer on Sun May 10, 2015 10:31 am

    While this is an overly simplistic idea, maybe this will help just a tad: ego vs self esteem

    Revenge, imho, is when the ego is harmed and is looking to retaliate for the blow. Yes, I can see if one has been harmed repeatedly and there is a rubber band effect in how it snaps back. That's a natural survival response, while revenge is usually because of holding onto the hurt and feeling embarrassed. I've been put on the "get back at you for that" list over and over and once was because I threw a surprise party. I didn't understand why that was a retaliatory issue, but I think it had to do with being able to do something "behind their back".

    If you're the one thinking about revenge, I think it's natural. We want to hurt those who've hurt us. But it will mostly hurt you. I won't tell you "don't feel that way" as that's silly advise. But consider being the better person and in that being the winner of the situation.

    If you're the recipient - I feel for you. Some people need a target in their lives. I knew someone who used to say "if they're talking about you, they're giving someone else a break". Not the most comforting statement, but maybe just a little bit of a more positive spin.

    Ok...so I can't see your post in this reply window - thus if I've gone off on a tangent on you, my apologies. Smile

    Undisclosed87

    Posts : 4
    Join date : 2015-05-09

    Re: Ego Revenge

    Post by Undisclosed87 on Sun May 10, 2015 5:32 pm

    I'm ok. I am not emotionally drained by it. Ironically enough, I have found I am more resilient than I thought because I've lived with it with my parents...They act like children. It's like kindergarten never closes.

    I consider revenge a "waste of time". I just don't like giving these people opportunities to steal my attention away from what I am doing. Smile

    undermilkweed

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2014-10-23

    Rubber Band effect

    Post by undermilkweed on Tue Jul 14, 2015 6:17 pm

    Just curious, my sibling who I suspect is a narc (or at the very least I have experienced those traits in her),  I heard her say this not too long ago, "I am rubber, you are glue, it bounces off of me, and sticks to you".  The problem is...it's her shit she bounces off herself onto others and I have been one.  Any thoughts on this?  I think I have been on the receiving end of her projections in ways I never realized.

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