Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support

    HR ignores psychopaths exist


    Posts : 16
    Join date : 2017-05-06
    Age : 40
    Location : Madrid

    HR ignores psychopaths exist

    Post by kibou on Sun May 07, 2017 12:15 am

    I see at every workplace at least one psychopath. They cause chaos everywhere, good professionals get fired, and the company losses big amounts of money. Also, the clients of the company get a feel of the chaos.
    There's absolutely nothing positive about having a psychopath at work. I have been a whistleblower twice, and the results are always negative towards me.
    In the last job I didn't realise It​until he destroyed all my career.
    HR and my managers believe the psychopath, and not me.
    Question for business owners and HR: when do you plan to end with this insanity?
    Question for the forum: what solutions do you think are feasible for dealing with this kind of scenario?
    This the 3rd narc/psychopath whatever that destroys my life and I have not even had the chance to recover completely.

    Posts : 12
    Join date : 2016-10-23

    Re: HR ignores psychopaths exist

    Post by KatC on Sun Sep 17, 2017 6:28 pm

    There is a female where I work that displays several traits of Narcissism. Like you mentioned about the person you're working with, she also is the one that is believed. She is able to accomplish this by being chatty with everyone, buddies up to the boss,... while the rest of us actually work. She exaggerates and spins stories way out of proportion. People believe her when they have no first hand experience so they think what she is saying is the truth, where in several examples I have pointed out quite plainly what she is saying is a lie. I have proved it over and over. Finally, after years of this, when she started to say to our boss "Well I always,...." my boss cut her off and said to her "If you Always,...._____ I wouldn't be seeing what I am seeing." It takes time. But don't dream of the day when the boss clearly sees that they are being manipulated, I don't think that day will ever come because of the whole buddy game they play.

    Posts : 16
    Join date : 2017-05-06
    Age : 40
    Location : Madrid

    Re: HR ignores psychopaths exist

    Post by kibou on Sun Sep 17, 2017 7:51 pm

    I have more insights on this.

    It is a little long to explain it all and I am not sure where to start.

    - I was not the only one fired. By "coincidence" others were fired too. We all have one thing in common: we were "good" people. I will refer to us as "empaths", but I don't like to use that term.

    I had the chance to watch another empath interacting in the company with their colleagues just a few days before he left. He looked very stressed, desperate. He was very negative and didn't look respectful when trying to help. Let me explain this: I think the key to fuck it on a job is doing too much. Empaths do not know limits, they only want to help, help, help. It is like a drug. They are always looking for something to fix, and they "forget" about stepping on someone else's toes.

    As an empath doesn't know any limits and works endlessly (workaholic), they do not sense any unrespectful act when working way too much, and doing things like crazy without being aware that there are limits.

    Empaths do not understand that they are damaging themselves and their colleagues if they work too long. They put work before themselves because "it is the right thing to do", and empaths just do, like robots, the right thing. They have a distorted and rigid sense of what is right and what is not. They are very sensitive and they will not ever do anything they believe is dishonest.

    They lack a full vision and experience, and they are too paranoid and they are too scared about some imaginary potentially bad consequences.

    I guess all this comes from being raised by a crazy psychopath (forgive my redundancy).

    This is what I have learnt now that I have been fired. I have been fired from the job of my dreams because of working too hard and not being aware of the limits with my workmates.

    Empaths are very easy to find in the workplace. I can recognise them now.

    They are the ones that are too much worried about their colleagues when they get a cold, or they work endlessly. Psychopaths will crush them like a mosquito if they are anywhere near them. That's why I got fired and other empaths got fired.

    They are the hardest workers, but also, they do not know well what is having a good balance between work and life. I work on IT and there are plenty of empaths suffering from this and exploited by companies.

    - When I was discarded by the psychopath I couldn't believe that I was the only one seeing this. It was so clear to me that he was a psychopath. I claimed that he was not for the company, but.. I was wrong. Who cares that much about the company? Only empaths. The rest of the people just take it easy. There is plenty of money to pay a couple of psychopaths more and the company will not sink at all. People have their lives and their families. There is a limit for everything, and we empaths have a hard time finding where to draw the line.

    I am also doing a course. The first days in the course were very strange. The teacher (a woman) liked very much to insult everybody. I was in shocked that someone like that was teaching in a public place.

    One of the students left the course because he couldn't bear with her. He told me before he left that she was a psychopath. I was shocked. I told him that it is better not to use that word lightly, I didn't think she was a psychopath. I was WRONG.

    Many days afterwards, I have spent some more time with her. She has used all possible well known techniques like: idealisation and discard, insulting, swearing, all kind of emotional blackmail, lies, lies, lies. She speaks and speaks and she is mostly the inventor of the a word salad. When she speaks she doesn't say anything at all, but a mix of words that she has decided that they are good to brainwash the people around her.

    However, I didn't see it at first time. She probably acted differently with him, and it was very clear to my colleague. However, I didn't have enough information to make this assumption.

    So, lesson learned (as always in the hard way??) It was not possible that they believe me at work. How could it be possible? I looked like a crazy person while the psychopath looked perfectly sane.

    They didn't have enough information to believe me. The fact is, that empaths, we also LOOK like empaths. That is, people see that there is something wrong with us. We have "something". So if anything happens, we are not going to be believed, because we looked as the crazy ones.

    Conclusions are: I am super aware now that there are some sacred limits at work that I shouldn't cross. I will NEVER put the company's interest above my integrity and I will never cross those boundaries again. I didn't know I was crossing boundaries, but yes, I know them now. I can see the line separating each role, and the expectations from each worker, and I will make a wall that I will never cross.

    I will use the time that I have left now to focus even more on my life, and getting fit, and keep improving my awareness about who I really am, not who I think I am. Empaths feel like they are somehow saviours from the world. "I have to do it, otherwise who will do it? Someone has to do it." These are poisonous sentences that come from Satan. They make you get in trouble right away, AND forget about taking care of yourself. Even if you take care about yourself now, there is so much more you can do when you are well aware of these invisible boundaries that separate things and someone that is in their right mind is able to see.

    On the bright side I am happy that I FINALLY understand what these boundaries are, but, for god's sake, why do we have to go through so much pain and suffering? I wish I had learnt this before somehow.

    I started Richard's course about boundaries but I should have probably finished it........... I didn't because I was too busy working.


    Posts : 16
    Join date : 2017-04-10
    Location : uk

    Re: HR ignores psychopaths exist

    Post by daisy4 on Mon Nov 13, 2017 2:02 pm

    I understand what you mean about npds within the workplace.  they do seem to be in every workplace I have been.  they often call it 'office politics'.  just another phrase for how much bs an office will tolerate and use their scapegoat/s as a dumping ground.  look after yourself.  that's the only advice I've found that helps.  boundaries are (as you now know) super important but some covert npds present as empaths, scapegoats or (not and) the victims of abuse.  

    I've watched my mother (covert npd) walk into multiple offices and take them apart like a pro.  its just fun for her.  the kicker is that she (as a covert) presents as a victim or martyr.  these people have no idea until its too late (and often never!) that she orchestrated the whole thing.  

    I've found that once you recognize the npd, do not interact with them, and if you have to...make it minimal one word answers.  never express emotion as when they find what you give emotional energy to..they will distort and manipulate you via it mercilessly.  grey rock it out. when they are talking minimalize eye contact, turn your body away from them and seem distracted frequently to let them know they do not have your full attention.  Know that the dysfunction comes from them.  they don't think like you and do not play by the same conscience bound rules as a non.  their behaviour is not your fault and you cannot fix it.  live and learn my friend and keep rocking awesome boundaries!  cheers

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    Re: HR ignores psychopaths exist

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