Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support


    Totem pole

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    KatC

    Posts : 10
    Join date : 2016-10-23

    Totem pole

    Post by KatC on Sat Jan 28, 2017 1:00 pm

    I was in a 22 year relationship with a narcissist (not understanding his behavior until I learned about narcissism).  One of his tactics was to use the child version of a persons name whenever possible.  For example:  His boss's first name is Tim, but every single time he used his name, including to the mans face, he would call him Timmy.  The effect this has is a subtle way of knocking the man down to a lower status.  He did this with everyone he possibly could.  I thought it odd and as an empath I explained to him why this behavior of his concerned me as far as how it would make others feel.  My concerns were always met with minimization.  Then he would go into rants of how he was better or had better ideas, how they were inept,....    This brings me to an observation, and I don't mean this in a negative way so please take it as it is, simply a recovering empath that has identified a red flag,.... Richard has a habit of opening his videos with "Hello boys and girls."  I'm not saying he is a narcissist, not at all.  I'm just saying it has a way of minimizing those he's talking to as not equals.  I'm sure it has not occured to him how it can be viewed.

    jenny4

    Posts : 12
    Join date : 2016-08-20
    Location : unceded first nations territory

    Re: Totem pole

    Post by jenny4 on Sun Jan 29, 2017 8:39 pm

    hi katC ,

    i found your observations interesting.
    i see that you're not asking a question.. so , in the spirit of sharing, i offer my observations :

    -r.g. uses less-than-flattering thumb nails for his videos most of the time-no edits-no glitz (posture down-non threatening environment)
    -r.g uses 'boys and girls' (posture up-authority) to commence the hangout
    (and i suggest that 'hello,boys and girls' is a line used by someone else... from a 70's kids' show or something)

    jenny
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    KatC

    Posts : 10
    Join date : 2016-10-23

    Re: Totem pole

    Post by KatC on Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:11 pm

    Oh, I don't believe Richard is a narcissist Jenny.    Very Happy  

     #1.  I am curious as to whether others have noticed that sort of behavior, using the child versions of peoples names, when observing their own Narc's.  

     #2.  Now that I am building my boundaries back up I'm on high alert for the sort of behavior that broke them down.  (then I factor in the context)

     #3.  As a parent I find that it's critical to make my teens aware in a very non-threatening, non-confrontational, conversation of how their behavior, words and reactions can affect those they are interacting with.  Sometimes you don't see it from the perspective of the other person until it is pointed out.

    jenny4

    Posts : 12
    Join date : 2016-08-20
    Location : unceded first nations territory

    Re: Totem pole

    Post by jenny4 on Mon Jan 30, 2017 2:41 am

    i don't think r.g. is a narcissist. Very Happy

    i think he's creating non threatening hangouts through the thumbnails ,no-edits, no glitz so that the viewer can feel welcome.

    ....and that the "boys and girls' is a quick way to qualify him as leader of the hangout without coming out and saying.."i'm gonna be in charge now". i think it's a nice way to set the parameters.
    (and he just may like the phrase if it reminds him of something from his youth.)

    #1 -yes, i've noticed that.
    i can see how "boys and girls" sounds like the same thing as calling the boss timmy instead of tim

    it sounds like your husband used it as a false-qualifier.
    i'm suggesting that r.g. uses it as a true-qualifier. (he is in charge/responsible for the hangout)

    jenny




    Paranoid Android

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2017-02-08

    Re: Totem pole

    Post by Paranoid Android on Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:52 pm

    I like the boys-and-girls greeting, it just comes off as warm and playful. Sounds like a carryover from his days working with schoolkids.

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    Re: Totem pole

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