Hi, my name is ashley. My experience being around dysfunctional environments has been my whole life. I cam from a home with a narcissistic mother and a father who could not stand me. From there I ended up being in a relationship with a milgnant narcissistic pyscopath. He abused me mentally, sexually, and physically daily. I basically was in a pow type of situation for awhile, I finally got away from him after having 2 kids with him. Currently I am involved with my high school sweetheart. We have one child together he is a good man but a narcissist. He is your classic example he is the one who made me very aware of all of this issue and made me self reflect. I love him and I have learned to deflect some of his behavior and deal with it. I have cptsd and ptsd anxiety and have had drug addiction and relapses . I know what issues I have and am self aware and working on them but over the last year I have become paranoid and very afraid I fear of awful things happening to me and even go to extreme lengthe to protect me and my kids. I go without sleep sometimes because I'm scared someone will break. In I'm afraid my family is plotting against me I am afraid my sister has slept or messed around with my current boyfriend. I don't know why I am experiencing this constant fear of people hurting me or my kids. I was alwayd hypervigilent but not to the extreme I sometimes feel now. I only get really afraid sometimes I don't want to live scared all the time and I am aware of my behavior but can't seem to shake the thoughts. I have been under a lot of stress maybe you can help me understand thank you.