Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support


    welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

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    gypsy

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2016-08-17

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by gypsy on Wed Aug 31, 2016 6:56 pm

    Hello = getting to grips with this forum thing! lol
    Introduced myself post first post - hey ho and SORRY
    Here I am, so identify with your last you tube video and myself in that emotional burn out phase at the moment - the time when you say to yourself 'hey well done - you managed to shower and get yourself dressed' All this with looking after children / when it seems as tho I can hardly manage myself. Clinging onto the fact that normally things turn about life goes on and inevitably things feel better?
    Its good to hear your viewpoints Richard, Thankyou from the bottom of my heart.

    Eaglewoman

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2016-09-06

    Hi

    Post by Eaglewoman on Tue Sep 06, 2016 7:15 pm

    Hi

    I have only just found you !!

    Have read some of your web site and am interested in the dissociation course.
    I now realise I have dissociated from the age of 9 months old. Lack of feeling at
    such a basic pre-verbal stage is bloody and it is this that has caused me to try
    everything, with nothing working.
    Well not providing me with the whole story and enabling me to fully heal.

    I have taught others to overcome all sorts of stuff, but the same techniques do
    not work for me. As you can imagine I really did think I originated on the planet
    Zog. Recognising the freezing, non-verbal and efficient dissociation I have been
    using has helped me look for other avenues.

    So I would like to know about the dissociation course and if you could sign post
    me in the direction of anything else that could help I would be grateful.

    love light and peace
    avatar
    Lyrics Words

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2016-09-08
    Location : Seattle Washington

    How do I trust myself/judgement in dating?

    Post by Lyrics Words on Thu Sep 08, 2016 1:22 am

    Richard Grannon wrote:hey guys, welcome
    Hi Richard,
    So glad I came across your videos in YouTube!
    Thank you for going through you're own work to be able to help all of us!
    I have so many questions. Feel like I need a tune up!
    I went to great counseling years ago.
    Now "sigh" she is retired and I am triggering just thinking about dating again.
    Just became divorced (16 years) last week from a narcissist!
    Wish I would have had your videos before going into that marriage.
    Also want to say we were separated for 4 years with no contact except email or calls.
    So.....it doesn't "feel" like a new break up.
    To be honest I miss sex! lol Yes, I know relationships are more than this.
    But, the other side is I feel anxiety/triggered when thinking about meeting a new guy! The unknown!!!
    Ok, the Richard Grannon understanding about mental things would be the ideal! Smiling/humor.
    Would I be able to recognize healthy if it was in front of me?
    Of course there are so many questions not answered right now.
    Also, how do I find out how to see when you are on live?
    Take Care
    avatar
    Nico

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2016-09-21

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by Nico on Thu Sep 22, 2016 3:10 am

    Hello, I'm new and I was wondering how to actually post a topic in the "general" section.
    Thanks, Nico

    Bexg

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2016-09-27

    hi There!

    Post by Bexg on Tue Sep 27, 2016 6:26 pm

    Hi there everyone. I have just discovered this forum - yet have been researching NPD for about 15 years - as long as I have had my own computer and attached to dial up internet backthen! Smile) - I am the adult SG of covert NM and now, shared delusional father, whose identity has slowly disappeared over my lifetime and been engulfed into my NM entity - they operate now as one. I have spent many years working through my own issues and complexities that N abuse causes and now want to reach out to help others out of their warped reality space. Fortunately for myself, i have a strong sense of self and right and wrong as a very young child, and my NM was unable to brainwash me into her cult. I knew my reality was the one I was grounded in. Very Happy

    warm wishes to you all - wherever you are on your recovery journey. I love you
    avatar
    BecomingMyself-ish

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2016-10-01

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by BecomingMyself-ish on Sat Oct 01, 2016 8:33 am

    a good ol' fashion forum. i thought these places died with the advent of social media?

    hi. i don't want to say my name (yet?), but i'm here because my last relationship took everything out of me and forced me into no contact. i awakened to the possibility of my girlfriend having NPD or BPD and just shut contact down. i went no contact for 11 months. i have been sober (no drugs/drinking/smoking) for 9.5 months now as well. she recently made contact with me again after discovering an online blog i have. i attempted to give her another shot (as far as talking/friends only) and in only two weeks... well, you know what happened. the same mind-numbing shit. i could see a lot of the red flags and it made me very sad about myself. to have been tricked by this person for 1.5 years. to have given so much of myself to her and gotten nothing in return. to learn she fucked 3 other guys in those 11 months while i entered sobriety, therapy, and processed our relationship and my PTSD.

    i'm so vulnerable and confused, but i find richard's YT videos nothing short of inspiring and motivating and a bit of a safety net. just... relatable. scary.

    father is a narc and not sure about mother yet. therapy is slow going, but have been going since around april or may. honestly cannot remember.

    it's late here and i have to go to bed, but i hope to use this forum to find more relatable experiences and i hope everyone here is discovering a better/stronger version of themselves. it's hard work.

    i'm thankful to be here. looking forward to interacting later. Smile

    ffffff

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2016-10-02

    my delusional mother...

    Post by ffffff on Sun Oct 02, 2016 3:53 am

    Hi!
    I have been watching the videos on youtube and they have helped me a lot to figure some things out abaiut my parents. My mother was always over protective of me, growing up I had no privacy. I was a good kid, athlete, got good grades, but if did one little thjng that was slightly "wrong" like forget a book at school she would get very agressive both physically and verbally. That behavior only got worse as I grew up and wanted to be more independent and also I didn't like the same things that she did or that she wanted me to like. We would fight on a daily basis and she would always try to hit me when I disagreed on somethinh she wanted me to do. I hated staying home and I cant remember one good thing about her. I also have a golden child as a sister, and I believe she is a narcissist. I left home when I was 23 and I always tried to connect with her - since I was the devil child and she was the poor mother - but it never worked out. We always end up fighting and I know that she wishes I was different.
    The worst part is that she joined the church, and she went back to college to study psychology and so she denies everything that she was, says I dont remember things, whenever I try to talk about somenthing in the past. She victimizes herself whenever shit gets serious and constantly blames my father, or her young age. She was had a bad relationship with her mother, but after she died my mother put their relationship in a pedestal (she is very good at recreating the past).
    Anyway, I am sorry about the mess but its my first time writing in a forum and I dont know how this works exactly.
    My mother and I live in different continents for 2 years and she still gets to me. She just came to visut me a couple of weeks ago and this time my sister came along and once again at a certain point, when staying in my house and sleeping in my bedroom they would complain about me not being so present or whatever and I am really exausted.
    I think i am going to stop writing now, but it would really help me if you could talk a little bit about how to deal with this delusional people that lie about the past and make you feel like a crazy mean bitch. Btw, my father and sister suffered some abuse from her too, but "they forgave" so whenever I try to talk about it they just say "i have to forgive her because its the best for me, or that she did it because she loved me". And ok, I get it, it sucks to bring up stuff from the past, but in a way they keep happening and its really hard to pretend like nothing happened ever.
    Thank you so much. Just writing this messy story made feel a little bit better.

    GRT

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2016-10-05

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by GRT on Wed Oct 05, 2016 10:15 am

    I'll do an intro at another time. I've been following Richard and his wonderful work for nearly 2 years now. It's been 2 steps forward and one forward but definitely in the right direction. I had learned the hand mnemonic and practised it. Today was the first time I actively used it when recognising I was in a full blown emotional flashback. What a great tool. It really grounded me and settled the feelings quite quickly.
    I am so grateful to Richard for his work, you tube clips and podcasts. Today his simple tool was an amazing turn around. Thank you so much.

    LFA

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2016-10-10

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by LFA on Mon Oct 10, 2016 6:21 pm

    Hi everyone,

    Greetings from Montreal Canada.
    First, i've never been involved with comunications of this type (forums) as this all new to me so, i hope to get some answers that will also help others through my short experience With who i believe she is a covert narcissist.
    I'm french speaking so sorry if i make some grammatical mistakes but i do my best.
    avatar
    wepnode

    Posts : 9
    Join date : 2016-10-11

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by wepnode on Wed Oct 26, 2016 5:52 pm

    Hello.  It's hard for me to be a presence online.  i'm the cautious fish who hides behind the treasure chest in the fish tank, but i posted a couple things today.  Over two years ago, i heeded Richard and Sam's warning and left my partner, flat.  it's been very difficult, but i have maintained no contact all this time.  as i awoke, i found that i'd surrounded myself with narciccists.  i'm not sure i can recognize all of them, but i'm learning.   thank you to both Sam Vaknin and Richard.

    Sapphire&Steel

    Posts : 3
    Join date : 2016-10-16

    Thank you to Richard Grannon

    Post by Sapphire&Steel on Thu Oct 27, 2016 2:31 am

    I keep deleting my posts as the truth is I still feel uncomfortable sharing anything personal even under a pseudonym.

    The Spartan Life Coach you tube posts have helped my life more than anything else though.

    Such a relief to find someone who understands the way the world works and has a great sense of humour.  There are so few people (who are accessible) with intelligence, wisdom, compassion and humour.  I guess there are a lot, but its hard to find them, and they don't generally seem hang out in my vicinity.

    I have to say 'The Office' series by Ricky Gervais had the same effect for me.  That kept me sane at that point in my life also.

    However, - I have noticed there are very very few answers to anyone's comments here. So.. is the purpose of this for other people to comment on each other's posts.. because I can see no one is.

    So no one is getting any feedback. It makes it more like journaling. It feels like talking to oneself in space.



    Last edited by Sapphire&Steel on Fri Nov 04, 2016 12:23 am; edited 4 times in total

    leesdancer

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2016-11-03

    Hey

    Post by leesdancer on Thu Nov 03, 2016 2:10 pm

    Hi all
    Can't wait to get my teeth into this Richard you are an Oracle of information I am excited to read some of your E books
    Thanks
    Lisa

    Very Happy

    Unknown Self

    Posts : 3
    Join date : 2016-11-05

    Hello

    Post by Unknown Self on Sat Nov 05, 2016 5:47 am

    Introduce my Self.... I would if I could but at the age of 58 I have no fucking clue. The scary part is I fear I am too old to do all the work necessary to feel whole. Born into a brutally dis functional unit. I don't see how it/they can be called a family so I will stick with unit. Youngest of the group of four only because apparently during my birth I destroyed her womb. The way I see it is, someone had to put a stop to that bullshit. Caustic humor there. Horrible, horrible thing to say, I know but if I'm going to be held personally responsible as I was, I figure why fight it? Just agree and come up with a reason why. Never bonded with good old mom since a big part of my care was the responsibility of the eldest child in the unit, my sister who turned 7 years old about 3 1/2 months after I was born. Dad was my hero. Never mind that he would beat us. I say us but I don't remember being beat by my father. I saw him beat my mother and my brother. My mother beat all of us, including the dog if he tried to stop her. The neglect, filth, and the real sense she hated us was always there. It was our fault the house was a roach, flea and who knows what else infested hell. It was our fault she was beat. We were so bad and we never listened. There are a great many blanks growing up. I do remember my father sexually abusing me when I was 13 after my mother left. I finally left right before I turned 15 afraid of getting pregnant and too many broken promises of it never happening again. I told my sister who decided I had to go to my mother. Oh joy. I had my own apartment at 16. There is just way too much for one post. Two brothers between us sisters and we are all fucked up. Our children are damaged.
    I was the only one who ever went into therapy. In between drinking, smoking weed and the easy to get drug of that era, the diet pill. All that I grew up around except for the weed. Mom had pills to sleep , wake up and the nerve pills. No computers. She had several doctors and pharmacies, if she even needed one since the doctors often poured them from the big brown bottle right into the envelope. No counting.
    I had other rapes. I was drawn to abusive relationships and I had three children. I decided I was going to be the one to break the cycle of abuse. I would not abuse my children like I was abused!
    Maybe I didn't but they suffered. My two youngest children's father, I was with for 20 years. He didn't try to beat me to death, didn't beat me at all. He worked hard, 6 days a week 10-12 hours a day. I had a winner folks. That a meagerly amount of his pay went to the care of his now family was my fault. I should work and contribute. Doesn't he pay the rent, gas blah blah. That I had to steal money from him while he slept to get pampers did not seem terrible to me. That he told me so often that I was fucking totally worthless, I not only agreed but was jealous because at least he could leave and go to work. I was stuck with me and I said so. It's all too much to cover. In and out of mental hospitals. Poor mans vacation was what one patient called it.
    In the 90s I really tried to do some inner work but that led to some writings to and conversations with myself that I now know as discociated "parts" . That kind of spooked me and interested me and was not the first time I was aware of somethings going on inside I was and am still not totally aware of.
    Ready for some good news? There is some.
    My last attempt of trying to stop wasting space on earth led me to what was for me a series of angelic helping hands in the form of people. The God of my current understanding because it changes. Is all loving energy. I say it changes because I change and the more I understand me, the more I understand God.
    I had gotten my GED decades before. I never told anyone. What was there to tell? I went took the test and I passed. I passed by the skin of my teeth and no big deal. It did allow me with the help of my angels get into college and I went to all kinds of therapy. Individual, group, and even a year long program especially designed for women who survived. I loved school and it was hard work. I had a school "counselor" when I was in the 9th grade tell me I had missed no less than 50 days a year since the first grade. I was wasting taxpayers money and I should just quit. So I did.
    Now here I was going to college in my forties. Another angel. I was hired as a student for the summer at a government job. My daughter had already asked if she could move in with my niece and with my first paycheck, I moved out. I didn't know if I would end up on the street which was why I agreed to my daughter living with my niece. Too many things for one post. My sons were already on their own. I worked hard and one summer turned into two years before I was brought on board permanently. I was written up in two psycho babble magazine/brochures as a success of the mental health system and a shing example of how well it works. I met a man and fell in love and he treated me with respect and kindness. He went with me when along with two other people I attended a 3 day paid seminar/conference at a prestigious college psycho babble conference as shining examples how well the current psychology system works great.
    I moved up in the job, my love and I traveled, he was professor Higgins and I was a happy Eliza. It was a good run. I was even repairing my relationships with my children. The only thing that actually stuck thank you God. So far anyway since we never know what life will bring. My love and I got married after 4 years. Shortly after he retired and started getting depressed. My advancement at work now required me moving to another city. Then he got more depressed and my new promotion was ... For me toxic. I was back home with the unit. Only I didn't realize it. You see the problem with having a good run is you forget. At least I did. Hubby getting more and more depressed. I was the scapegoat at the job.
    A year and a half in the new spot and my once shining knight was no longer the man I feel in love with. Then, he died.
    Too much for one post.
    I wind up in a partial hospitalization program. For the first time I did my own research on PTSD. I had been diagnosed repeatedly since I was 22 and it was never explained to me nor did I ask. More than anything it's an illness of denial. I work on CBT, DBT (Marsha I love your message but your presentation needs some zippidy do dah) I know because I paid for and downloaded all her videos. Most of all I practiced mindfulness and grounding. Oh I was an A student again the shining example saying and doing all the right things. I did some hard work. Then I cracked. Dissociation, panic attacks and I handled it. Even when "they" all started talking to me, in me, gotta be clear about that and I listened and I talked back. Mostly children, and some others who had their own role. Too much for one post.
    Then I said to my therapist what I didn't know I shouldn't say. I am pretty sure I have dissociative disorder, no no I don't have blackouts. No, I don't end up in places and not know how I got there. Though sometimes I am on the block where I live and for a few moments panic because I don't know where I am but I've always been weird like that. No sense of direction. I always joked, I get lost going to the bathroom.
    No, I can't call someone out. It doesn't work that way. I don't know how I KNOW but I can tell you it has to do with building trust and validation. I was "graduating" the program at this point.
    New therapist upstairs. Now I know this kid can't help me she is too busy pulling anxiously at her Freda Kahlo eyebrows and can only tell me to write positive statements on post its and stick them all around my apartment. There were others but they couldn't seem to grasp what I was saying. I even explained to them there was a test that could show where I placed on the dissociative spectrum. They had no idea what I was talking about and not one looked into the testing. Valium yes, Paxil of course and let's toss in some adderol for old times sake. No test though.
    I'm at a different workplace but it was also a bit of a demotion. The inner conversations quieted but the children are there and I can't abandon them. I've abandoned myself for 58 years. Only I can save myself.
    So Rich, I am curious what you think of this .... splintering of self to absorb what as a child I could not comprehend yet as an aware adult have a responsibility to releave them of their secret keeping burden. I'm not crazy okay yes I am but I'm okay with it. I do know I can't do the work alone. I also know good trauma therapists, All booked baby! So you see why I am afraid of never being whole..

    veerle

    Posts : 3
    Join date : 2016-11-15

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by veerle on Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:41 pm

    Hello everybody, I'm so glad for finding this place. I'm here on my journey to fix my "cup of tea". Currently traveling to Room 101.

    Hey, Richard! Your awesome vids wreck my mood Laughing ! Thanks a lot for your kindness.

    FaithHeart

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2016-11-20
    Location : Scotland

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by FaithHeart on Sun Nov 20, 2016 6:04 am

    Hey Everyone, just wanna introduce myself, I believe that I have been through an abusive relationship Narc Mother in-law and the Father In Law, I wasn't sure about him ( Wierd Vibes ). Now my partner has got Narcissistic traits. this is my opinion from watching video's from youtube.

    How i came onto finding this Information, was through a google search, all I typed was the word:
    UNHAPPY..... then the search results displayed LOYAL and UNHAPPY... I thought to myself....? yeah I'm loyal too, clicked on the loyal and unhappy tab..lead me to Narcissism - codependent, covert + Overt Narc. Terms I might of heard before (through watching movies ) but never trully understood.

    I've Watched Videos from yourself Richard, Lisa Romano, ASSC, Wendy Pollack, Sam Vaknin.
    for 4 days solid My Brain Soaking this information up I Almost feel I'm HEALED ALREADY, the information relates to everything I've been Suffering with. I know I've goto concentrate on self healing and grieving stages.

    My situation is what really concern's me. I have 4 Children, 3 boys and 1 lass to my partner ages 13,9,6,3 this is my biggest concern i dont want my bairns screwed up in this shit i'm concerned about my 13 year old lad he's seen too much It scares me shitless at times

    I trully thank you ALL for sharing and sheding light on these serious conditions


    Tam

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2016-11-21

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by Tam on Mon Nov 21, 2016 2:48 pm

    I love Lisa Romano too. Here is a new gal I found & she blew my mind with info that I didn't know & I thought I knew a lot from over 2000 hours give or take of reading & youtubing & going to 12 step coda meetings... which were the least helpful. New gal is under: ba recovery on youtube... The one i watched was called 'word salad'

    Tam

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2016-11-21

    Hi all my name is Tam and I'm introducing myself

    Post by Tam on Mon Nov 21, 2016 3:22 pm

    I'm from Washington the state and just about a year ago I was in so much pain from being in a malignant narcissist psychopathic relationship with my boyfriend whom thankfully I never married him, that I woke up and I've been trying to to figure out how to stop the pain. He kind of help me along with that by leaving me for someone else after almost 2 years. I know this is the best thing for me but it doesn't feel like it. I wasn't ready to grieve. Also I'm a curious sort and I stayed with him even though I knew what he was. I was trying to explore things that would make him better change him fix him so that I could have him (not all was bad about him... Cuddler believe it or not... Maybe because he was mostly somatic... Thoght his cuddles were magic like his D. I figured he was all that I could get(prison for attempted murder & robbery...ugh) thought that was all I was worth and that i will never get anyone else and I also believed the myth that I am too old for love at 52. So now I'm working on the flashbacks and the jealousy of the new supply and also I hate to say this but I can't wait till he hurts her like he hurt me because then I won't feel so dumb and alone to his damaging deceptions. I hope I get over the revenge feeling for the jealousy feeling for her because I'm sure it isn't deserved I'm sure she doesn't know one true thing about me and whatever she does know he probably lied & decieved to get her to react like he wa ted her to. I did meet her... I didn't like her... I now know why...she reminded me of a know it all helper, like me. I do think she knew 10 days before she slept with him we were together and that hurts, but what she prob didn't know was that he didn't ever really break up/ end our relationship. I'm trying to forget him and love myself, but I'm ruminating constantly about him & the confused false/ real relationship we had and nobody gets it. I can't keep that crap out of regular conversations... Everything is tied to it... To him. It's so hard to stop the ruminating. I think I have PTSD I don't have enough money to get a counselor I don't have a job and am a caretaker to my mother 24/7, which that deciscion is what triggered my halfway out the door narc to leave. A blessing that didn't feel like one and still doesn't. Living with my mother & Caretaking her like I did when I was a child is re-wounding me, but at least I see it now. Just writing hear has given me thought to be my own best friend and give myself objective advice for the situation that I am in. I love you Richard grandson you are one of the best and I have watched a lot. thank you so much from the bottom of my heart and I will be having my much cherished son look at some of your videos. I don't know if I trust Sam Vaknin cause he is a psychopath. How can one get credible advice from somebody who is so personality disordered? I'm sticking with that and only time will tell. But I do think his insights from selfawareness may be a colaboration that someday breaks the abuse cycle & behaviors that these brain type predators dole out like a disease. I do know that he does have some credible advice but I have to weigh each thing I hear from him. Love to you all that are in this same struggle I hope that you'll fall in love with yourself and know Someday that You are the brightest star & value yourself most and know your worth & you deserve better. Thank you anyone who read this. We're not alone.

    anon7

    Posts : 3
    Join date : 2016-12-14

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by anon7 on Thu Dec 15, 2016 10:22 am

    Hi

    Realised that I should probably have introduced myself (anon7 is a strange intro but have to be v careful as anything I do online is looked at) before posting that Q & A about triangulation (Had a bit of a spiral day yesterday so apologies if it was a bit waffly; missed out loads of info but conscious that it was a bit of an offload!). I have been following Spartan Life coach facebook and You Tube uploads for around a year now - they have been really helpful in trying to make some sense of all the weirdness. I've been married for 19 yrs & noticed things were getting strange about 5 yrs ago when I started looking up online "why am I being micromanaged by my husband" – I am now in week 6 of having asked for a temporary separation. It’s been mentally exhausting, but I’m “learning” Smile
    avatar
    Adey

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2017-01-08

    Newbie on board.

    Post by Adey on Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:43 pm

    Hello all,

    I'm a middle aged male who's been following Richards' Youtube posts for well over two years after a great deal of searching for answers online and reading many books. Today I decided to take the plunge and join the forum in an an attempt to deepen my understanding and, I hope,fully heal from what I see as BPD/NPD abuse and whatever negative affect my parents instilled.

    lostnature12

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2016-09-25

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by lostnature12 on Wed Jan 18, 2017 10:52 am

    Hi Guys

    Is this forum still alive ?
    I am a bit afraid to pour my heart out somewhere and noone answers or the like

    Thank you
    E
    avatar
    TaniaC

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2017-03-14
    Age : 48
    Location : Australia

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by TaniaC on Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:44 am

    Hi,

    Im Tania. am fucked up and all new to this, but have been watching Richards and others videos constantly for the past few weeks. I am finally starting to to get some kind of grip on what has affected me and my life for so long. Not sure what else to say. I have gone no contact with with all except one of my members and am about to do so with her too.

    Hugs

    oneshyi

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2017-03-20

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by oneshyi on Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:10 am

    Hello everyone!

    I just joined the Spartanlifecoach forums, although I have been following Richard on YouTube since 2014 and worked through some of his courses.

    I basically had a really bad relationship with someone I would consider to be a twat, and I was blamed for everything about it, including his personal failures. I was psychologically beaten up and confused and tired, and after a few weeks of rest I just wanted to do my own research a to what actually happened. I actually found Richard when his "20 Signs You are with a Covert Narcissist" video came up in search results as I was searching around for co-dependency articles to see if I could "help myself" and if I was in fact a co-dependent (I also never heard of the term before, but my ex accused me of it)

    Whether he was a covert narcissist or not in the end, I don't know. I only know that he was enough to leave me in shreds by the end of it. A counsellor speculated to me that it sounded like Borderline Personality Disorder that I was dealing with, and of course she asked me not to hold her to her word since that was all it was - a speculation. While I did not get any more answers about what my ex really was going through, I guess it was enough for me to want to just put the thought aside and work on my own problems.

    And I think from there everything just snowballed. I realised that my relationship turned sour was also inexplicably linked to my childhood environment and the family that surrounded me as I grew up, and it just opened up a whole new realm of possibilities and problems, and questions as well to be explored. I am a Malaysian Chinese female, and I am very much aware that my cultural background does not put me in the best rankings within the family circle. Also, after I returned from studying abroad, I realised that the same family environment that i thought was "the right way" was far from it, and very much removed from reality. Hierarchy kills logic and reasoning, as well as the voice of an individual. Loyalties to the family clan can feel like gangsterism when a free-thinking individual is punished for being just that.

    I am also an artist who left my career in architecture to pursue my love for painting, this is also very much condemned and looked down upon.

    Having said that, I have gathered up the courage to join the forums and say hello. It's very nice to meet you all, and I'm looking forward to much healing and growing together Smile

    jenny4

    Posts : 12
    Join date : 2016-08-20
    Location : unceded first nations territory

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by jenny4 on Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:10 am

    hi,  
    i saw the beacon. i'm here to figure things out.  

    monkert67

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2017-03-29

    Just a friendly Hello.

    Post by monkert67 on Wed Mar 29, 2017 4:30 am

    Hi Richard, Just started watching your videos, I love your approach to life and I am hopeful that by watching and motivating myself, I can learn a lot. Thanks for all you do for people. God Bless

    jcartCH

    Posts : 5
    Join date : 2017-04-02

    speed of light talking

    Post by jcartCH on Sun Apr 02, 2017 8:06 pm

    One of the things I notice while listening to some NPD is that they talk really fast. I think this might be a defense mechanism, that you can't get a word in edge wise allows them to control the conversation. You also have no time to negate lies. What do you think?

    Sponsored content

    Re: welcome to the forum, introduce yourself :)

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Wed Apr 26, 2017 12:53 pm