Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support


    Empathy vs. Compassion

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    KatC

    Posts : 10
    Join date : 2016-10-23

    Empathy vs. Compassion

    Post by KatC on Sun Oct 23, 2016 8:15 pm

    On one of the recent videos Richard pointed out that Americans view empathy and compassion as virtually the same thing and then he went on to clarify the distinction between them and the importance that we realize that distinction.  I found that very helpful in my understanding of narcissism as I paired that knowledge with "cold empathy" as noted by Sam Vaknin.  I'm now under the belief that the "experts" have it all wrong,... it seems to me that while the DSM and trained professionals are claiming that narcissists lack empathy, or lack the ability to feel it to the same degree as neurotypicals thats not the case at all.  They do understand empathy, they feed off knowing how they make others feel, so they NEED to be able to feel empathy.  What they lack is Compassion.  They do not feel any distress when seeing others in pain (emotional, physical, or psychological).  This makes much more sense to me given my experience. - I would point out how his actions made me or others feel, he would just say "Yup", which I would follow up with "Well?,.. that's hurtful." Then he would say "Yes, I understand. I just don't CARE." CARE is the operative word. (LACK OF COMPASSION) --- Thank you Richard. I was never able to split the two Empathy and Compassion in my head until you pointed this out. To me they are so intertwined I am unable to experience one without the other and I never could imagine others could either. Now I know. Now his behavior makes sense.


    Last edited by KatC on Thu May 25, 2017 9:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    wepnode

    Posts : 11
    Join date : 2016-10-11

    COld Empathy

    Post by wepnode on Wed Oct 26, 2016 4:53 pm

    For years, this caused cognitive dissonance for me, as i KNEW my partner didn't lack "empathy".  It's unfortunate that we don't use all our words, for instance, there are many types of love, and they used to have names.  It  cheapens love, tossing the word around so casually.  My partner didn't respect or understand the type of love i gave, e.g., never forgave me for not being jealous or possessive, never more than when i expressed wanting the best for them, even if that didn't include me.  Machiavelli had empathy.  My partner was also capable of empathy, which would be withdrawn as punishment.  They admitted this.   I no longer believe my partner has Asperger Syndrome--in any event, it proved impossible for me to tease the Asperger from the narcissism, although, typing this now, i see that the deliberate withdrawl of empathy, as punishment, was one tell.  This is the second NARC to present itself to me under the cloak of Asperger.  It was intensely confusing, and i spent so much time and energy trying to rationalize this.  I'm exhausted.

    daisy4

    Posts : 8
    Join date : 2017-04-10
    Location : uk

    Re: Empathy vs. Compassion

    Post by daisy4 on Mon Jul 17, 2017 9:18 am

    can someone post the link to Richards empathy/compassion vid pls? I've never been able to know the difference!
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    wepnode

    Posts : 11
    Join date : 2016-10-11

    Re: Empathy vs. Compassion

    Post by wepnode on Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:30 pm

    i will try and find that for you, but it seems to me it's been removed from youtube.  in the meantime, check this out:  "How to Identify a SOCIOPATH"

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsWE_8ZIPQg

    text is here:  http://www.toptenz.net/10-ways-detect-sociopaths.php

    Stop Trying to Figure Them Out: Narcissists Don’t Think Like You Do:

    http://esteemology.com/stop-trying-to-figure-them-out-narcissists-dont-think-like-you-do/#more-2176

    i hope the video you seek is still available.  i found it chillingly honest, and felt that if my X could speak with that level of self-awareness and honesty, they would say EXACTLY what Sam said.

    OK, THIS is the chilling one to which i referred:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLCPDYt1wYk

    I know what the poster means by, "He creeps me out", but i really needed to HEAR Sam speak in this video - "I believe that you believe it.....".

    "All that matters is that you tell them they're good lovers."   So true.   Like, skinning (me), layer by layer....


    Last edited by wepnode on Thu Jul 20, 2017 7:18 pm; edited 1 time in total

    daisy4

    Posts : 8
    Join date : 2017-04-10
    Location : uk

    Re: Empathy vs. Compassion

    Post by daisy4 on Wed Jul 19, 2017 9:55 am

    that's a shame that its been removed. I find the source equally as important as the info and neither of those sites look like specialists in personality disorders. thanks for the effort though. if it was anything to do with sam vaknin I would not have watched it anyway, he creeps me out!

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