Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support

    Where to go from here



    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2016-04-01

    Where to go from here

    Post by Lily242 on Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:10 pm

    I grew up with a narc father, had a 17 year marriage to a covert narc, then a 2 year relationship to someone on the spectrum. The last man I saw for a year had some narc-y issues, but is as close to neurotypical as a I have been. Where do I go from here? My picker is getting better, but I don't know what the next step is. I have labeled myself as undateable, until I break the pattern and can have a normal relationship. But like Richard said in one of the last podcasts, I feel very flat not having a new "master" to spend all my time and energy on.

    Posts : 13
    Join date : 2016-10-23

    Re: Where to go from here

    Post by KatC on Tue Sep 19, 2017 7:12 pm

    Your experience sounds very similar to my own.  I have not been in a relationship since the divorce, but I have met people.  Most set off red flags, and I thought that was the reason I have not yet allowed anyone to get that close.  However,.. the more distance I have from the marriage (time passing, children no longer going back and forth, clarity of what I was actually dealing with thanks to listening to Richard) I realize my resistance to any possible relationships developing has been rooted more in my own need for space for personal growth.  It just manifested on a more subconscious level.  I need to be sure I have all of my boundaries rebuilt.  That's what is helping me the most right now.  If I was focusing my energy on another person and putting their needs first I would not be healing, I'd just be opening the door for another repeat of what I just got out of.  Putting your own needs first when you were groomed to be an empath and its hardwired into you is not easy, but it is possible, but most importantly its necessary if you wish to break the cycle.

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