Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support


    Short and simple video request

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    steph2101

    Posts : 3
    Join date : 2016-10-08

    Short and simple video request

    Post by steph2101 on Sat Oct 08, 2016 12:17 pm

    How do I avoid being a scapegoat?
    Can you please answer this question in a youtube video? I seem to always be put in this position by narcissists and I don't know why. In all circumstance I have worked for narcissists, I have not been given a good job reference by them at all (though all other employers have given me great ones). By nature I am highly empathetic, driven to succeed, introverted and labelled as 'sensitive'.

    swissalps16

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2016-10-06

    Re: Short and simple video request

    Post by swissalps16 on Sun Oct 09, 2016 5:12 pm

    I agree that a specific video on this question might be interesting/helpful, but if you haven't done so, be sure to work through all his youtube videos because he does address various elements of your question in many of them. For example, in some of the earlier ones, he explains the sort of structural dynamic behind scapegoating/blacksheeps, and then in later videos he goes into detail about how NARCs can essentially tell/perceive when a person has unhealed wounds, and they will hone in on you b/c you're vulnerable. As a result, he describes how a CPTSD sufferer needs to address the emotional wounds and heal them, which will create better ego boundaries, and then, to paraphrase him in one of his videos, "they won't come for you." There are a lot of people out there who don't really get targeted by abusive personalities, and it's not necessarily because they have any sort of superhuman strength/toughness/skill/charm, but rather, they might just have a reasonably healthy ego and sense of self. If someone is confident in their identity and has good ego boundaries, they just will not even deal with NARC abuse, so they're not optimal targets. So it is possible to make yourself less of a target; it will just require a lot of healing work to address the underlying emotional trauma and then reformulate your ego and sense of self so that you're able to (a) know abuse when you see it, and (b) refuse to tolerate it.

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