I have noticed that attention from others,especially of the opposite sex, is soothing to me. It's more than just an ego stroke, but actually feels affirming, almost relaxing. I know this is related to codependence and my childhood, which was largely devoid of acceptance, affection, and celebration of me and my sister, but I can't pin down exactly how that fits together. And what's more important to me NOW is how I can find this affirmation for myself so that I can relax in relationships and not "hold back" with the subconscious intent of remaining "available" to others whose attention I desire, but who I have no intention of getting truly involved with. This behavior is twisted and unhealthy and something I'm not proud of at all. I would like to understand the root so I can change it for good.