Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support


    protecting your child when the narc parent/ex won't walk away

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    tadziah23

    Posts : 4
    Join date : 2016-08-11

    protecting your child when the narc parent/ex won't walk away

    Post by tadziah23 on Thu Aug 11, 2016 1:40 pm

    I first want to say thank you to Richard Grannon it has literally save my life. I like most people thought of narcissist's as just an arrogant haughty person who loved looking at themselves. I didn't even see the storm coming. I was on cloud nine then got a text at work one day from my narc ex (2 weeks after learning I am pregnant)"Hey how is your day can you call me on your way home, I love you!!" The call made and he broke up with me just like that over the phone wth I'm 39 years old this doesn't happen in real life....little did I know that was just the beginning. Some how as I sat home alone growing a human we created he was the one abandoned he was the one who just "didn't know what our relationship ever was", I am the liar, I am heartless. I spent 2 years feeling like I was in a cold dark hole, he spent the next 2 years mind fucking me in and out of my life to the point that I wished I wouldn't wake up the next day. So a year ago I began seeing a therapist who just a couple months in says has your ex been diagnosed with NPD or BPD?? Know I say, he is a really good person he has just had a lot of bad shit happen ( child abuse, neglect, possible PTSD from 2 tours in Iraq in 2002 and 2003, he has type 1 diabetes and the fluctuation in blood sugar is why his moods are so labile blah blah blah) oh the excuse train for his behavior was endless from my station.
    Did I mention he still lives with mummy? Oh yes, mother. She befriended me too, I was so wonderful, I made her son the happiest she had ever seen that is until the pregnancy she then out right told me to abort my baby.
    He broke up with me and she not he pack my belongings and placed them neatly by the front door ( even down to lasagna noodles I had bought the week previous) get her and any sign of her out she is dead to us, is how I felt.

    I still allowed him to come back and I now realize I was just being used for narcissistic supply. The sex was so different and the endless bait and switch and gas lighting had me feeling as though I was loosing my mind and all the while I just loved him and wanted to provide a complete family unit for my daughter. I had not idea, the level of naivety I possess is quite embarrassing to me now as an educated woman and member of the healthcare community, how did this happen to me I would ask.

    So he gets a new source of supply and now he his the victim telling the world that I am a crazy, psycho liar that "stole" his daughter ( the same daughter he and his mother didn't want, he left me weeks into a pregnancy and hasn't contributed to her financially, left me at the hospital during labor never to return, call or text to check on me and the baby until the next day after the birth) He tells people he was forced to have sex with me to see our daughter??? I am mortified and feeling like garbage. Who would believe such nonsense??? Oh, but they/we do. He has a way of winning people over which is the scariest thing for me now with a child involved.

    Just 2 months into his new source he begins texting, emailing and sending me pornographic videos and pictures of himself begging me to participate. They broke up he says, he wants me he says. I start buying in hahahaha pathetic I know but this was before finding you Richard Grannon so I get a small pass. I realize I have been duped and grow a pair of balls and I drive to his house and show his girlfriend my phone, he sat there like a sulking child listening to me blow his cover and her seeing it with his own words and photos on my phone. Long story short she was done with him also a hahahaha moment as she like I thinks she can fix this poor broken man, so two days later he gets her back. The good news for me I have not heard a peep from him for 46 days and counting. Now, realistically because of our child he is not gone. prior to this I had initiated a supervised visit situation at her daycare so I could avoid contact with him all together, even prior to finding Spartan life coach I realized this was my only hope. He shows up there once or twice a week, about 5-6 hours out of an entire month he has available to him he makes time to see her.9 forgot to mention, he is an unemployed weed dealer, hight 95% of his day literally. "disabled vet" type 1 diabetes during his second tour rendered him "disabled" He has not taken any legal recourse yet as I didn't even name him as her legal father on her birth certificate at birth. I could rightfully tell him to go pound sand but at least right now this is keeping him at bay and keeping my daughter safe. I worried if I told his to go fuck off he would take me to court just to torture me as I know now that he doesn't love her or anyone else, has no capacity. He is very keen on keeping up perceptions that make him look: good, normal, loyal, kind, generous etc... so he continues to show up at the daycare to look like a father who truly wants nothing more than to see his daugher. I am so scared for the day that he takes me to court because going to court with these people is like a fucking performance of a lifetime. I am still trying to cope with the anxiety that he will never actually "go away'.
    Wanted to share my story there is much much more but this is the tiny cliff notes version. How do I protect my daughter?

    tadziah23

    Posts : 4
    Join date : 2016-08-11

    Re: protecting your child when the narc parent/ex won't walk away

    Post by tadziah23 on Thu Aug 11, 2016 1:58 pm

    Can I add for those of you at home scratching your head wondering why would an educated woman in late 30's ever date a unemployed weed dealer who lives at home with his mom and stays high all day? lol Everytime I am honest with who his is I ask myself this too.
    My narc ex came gift wrapped to me as a 7 year younger than me 6ft 200lb zero body fat personal trainer at my gym, black belt in Brazilian Jui Jitzu, who "let is mom move in with him after her ex died of cancer" and was just desperate to find a "good girl" all the others just wanted to party and he just wasn't into that... hahaha right! also I should add that this relationship started during my divorce from a 17 year marriage to a very inattentive person, not abusive or mean really just that I never felt loved. Like just the right ingredients were baked up for a 5 star meal right there.

    Turns out my narc was on again off again in school which I ended up helping him with, the house he had was actually his moms and he lived there since he was 10 years old.
    The façade was a grand one and I was so easy to please, I just wanted to have a partner who like having me around. wasn't looking for a husband, kids none of it. He made me laugh and made me feel like the only girl in the world.... too good to be true I thought, oh yes in deed it was.

      Current date/time is Sun Feb 26, 2017 1:20 am