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    Feeling the feelings vs. state management

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    Krin

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2016-07-27
    Age : 46
    Location : Michigan

    Feeling the feelings vs. state management

    Post by Krin on Wed Jul 27, 2016 11:51 pm

    At what point does pushing through the feelings (in order to heal) conflict with physiological state management?  Thanks!!!

    Iamnotecho

    Posts : 6
    Join date : 2016-04-12

    Re: Feeling the feelings vs. state management

    Post by Iamnotecho on Mon Aug 08, 2016 2:26 am

    For me, I am focusing on allowing myself to always acknowledge whatever I feel but without getting sucked into it...I guess I would describe this as a kind of detached observer status, as in my feelings occur within me but I am not governed or owned by them. Practicing that has helped me spot a flashback, because almost always if I feel like I am getting sucked in, it's a flashback...I find I am able to maintain that engaged observer state with moment to moment emotions. I don't know if that helps at all...this is a tricky thing to navigate, I feel you.
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    BraveRuth

    Posts : 9
    Join date : 2016-06-02
    Location : Greater Denver Area

    Re: Feeling the feelings vs. state management

    Post by BraveRuth on Mon Aug 08, 2016 9:39 pm

    For me, it has been an up-and-down journey. At first, it was very difficult to both acknowledge my feelings and somehow not be overwhelmed or controlled by them. I only allowed myself to consciously "feel the feels" when I was alone and I didn't have anything I had to do (like work my job or be in a social situation). With practice, time, and some imperfect and messy situations...I am growing in my ability to know and acknowledge my feelings without being totally sucked into them. I'm still a work in progress and sometimes I swing too far in one direction or another, but I am progressing. I think the important thing here is to give yourself grace in the process and know it may be messy at times, and that not everybody will understand and that's okay. What's important is to keep working at it and moving forward!!

    Krin

    Posts : 2
    Join date : 2016-07-27
    Age : 46
    Location : Michigan

    Re: Feeling the feelings vs. state management

    Post by Krin on Tue Aug 09, 2016 9:41 am

    Thank you both so much for your thoughtful input, I think there are situations where both suggestions will be helpful.  I struggle to allow myself grace; the concept is so foreign to me!  

    Btw, I named my detached observer "Dexter" after the character in the show...heheheh!!!

    cariad

    Posts : 8
    Join date : 2016-01-18

    Re: Feeling the feelings vs. state management

    Post by cariad on Thu Sep 01, 2016 8:08 pm

    If you havent already, I *highly* recommend Pete Walker's 'Tao of fully feeling'. He explains how, when we start to acknowledge our feelings and allow ourselves to emote, it actually dissipates them quite quickly. "Pushing through feelings" , or rather- allowing them some freedom, in the right time and safe space, will actually help with state management, because you are allowing the feelings out and accepting them, not repressing them.
    He writes so wonderfully, please give it a go!

    Iamnotecho

    Posts : 6
    Join date : 2016-04-12

    Re: Feeling the feelings vs. state management

    Post by Iamnotecho on Mon Oct 24, 2016 6:10 am

    For me, there is no conflict at all. The more I feel my feels, the more clarity I have and the less muddy my feelings are, so that they no longer scare me or overwhelm me, which makes state mamagment easier. I find it all a positive upward cycle, although when I started out, it was terrifying and a muddy mess...it's becoming something I am grateful for now.

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