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    Beyond NPD and fear of the Narcissist

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    A2Z

    Posts : 13
    Join date : 2013-12-11
    Location : north of nowhere

    Re: Beyond NPD and fear of the Narcissist

    Post by A2Z on Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:27 pm

    Sometimes being liked by people doesn't mean so much about character as being despised by cruel & nasty people.. I am starting to get this now.

    It is nothing of great effort to be liked for how you present yourself, but it is difficult to enjoy your own courageous gifts, especially when others have judged the best elements in you "troubling" . This keeps good people who would normally do well, without support and protection of others when they need it most. I add to this courageous story that maybe there was more than just a sometimes "father" in the picture but the sometimes father might be better than none at all for just clinging on to.

    One has to remember that it is upon the time we are born, our parents exclusive job to care for, love and protect us, and when we don't get this, we are betrayed by them, as this was their job, and very important it was. Then the community which turns its back to abuse and neglect, institutions which do not emotionally support the well being of children.

    Still, if Christine, no matter what greatness she had achieved in her life, sacrificing it for the good of others and never once understanding that her own joy is also important, what happens then?

    Every aspect of escape can be both positive and negative for the individual leading to life or death for said person, for example co dependency creating a person who is addicted to being in relationships to be dominated, or a person who throws themselves into work at the cost of their health are just a few ways things which are positive can become very dangerous.

    Even this description of being a Saint, sounds very suspect, while elevating and spiritual, we must realise that this is a projection of an image, while a person can be saintly in action and behaviour, this ALWAYS comes at the expense of personal needs which are very important and is basically an addiction turned into community approval.

    With these small critiques in mind, did Christine actually become her self or a self the community would no longer call a "whore" becoming a "saint" instead of being who she is, perhaps a woman who needed the care and unconditional love of her family and community she only got by being a human "doing" and a saint.

    While it is courageous to do something in opposition to the negative expectations of others, what does this mean about who a person genuinely is? What their true ambitions should have been, and what does this mean about genuine happiness?

    What sustained her? wrote:

    I suspect what may sustain others including myself in some rather bad times, "proving them wrong"
    (which I recognise can people can bury pain deep inside of them with strict focus upon goals neglecting everything else)

    Of course we can all do that, the question is, do we know when it's healthy, do we become shattered by failure or do we quit when we come to realise so much of what we may have thought was important was really to show others how "important" we were/are.

    (...and I must add, its well acceptable to be a success in the eyes of the Narc as long as you are willing to not be yourself. As long as you don't compete with them.)

    It was Stefan Molyneux who said, "being yourself annoys most people and even provokes attack because it's like everyone had a winning lottery ticket but they burned it, while you kept yours and just happen to show off your winnings"

    This is possibly how the Narc feels in the presence of anyone who still owns a spark of life in them they haven't either beat out, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually or a combination of or stolen.
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    Re: Beyond NPD and fear of the Narcissist

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