Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support


    Using metaphors to control and confuse

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    Geirhardur

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2016-07-12

    Using metaphors to control and confuse

    Post by Geirhardur on Wed Jul 13, 2016 12:38 am

    Hi Richard

    My abusive ex (borderline/narcissist) used a lot of metaphors while talking and writing (lots of email communication)..really a lot.
    They were very often difficult to understand and vague, full of images, hints and symbols.
    I often had a hard time getting where she was going, what she was trying to express (particularly with written communication) and our talks would sometime revolve around some complicated attempts find metaphors about what was happening between us rather than talking straight out.

    I would spend a lot of time and energy trying to interpret what she was saying/writing and often be really scared that I would get it wrong as well as to just ask her what the fuck she meant.
    During the breakup phase and after the relationship I thought about this tendency as something that she used to get around saying things directly and so that it would be more difficult to figure and point out how much nonsense she was talking.
    I think I'm probably right about that but there is another Idea that came to me recently (earlier today, in fact) that this style of communicating so much through metaphors also served the purpose of confusing me even more deeply.
    As the sub- and unconscious mind responds so well to symbols, this could also allow for the emotions, tone of voice and body language she used to come even more strongly through her words then if she would speak more straight out.

    I am operating on intuition here but I really feel that this could be a very relevant part of the reason that this short relationship (about 8 months) had such a strong negative effect on me.

    So my question is:
    Do you think this is likely to be the case? and
    Is this something you've noticed when dealing with abusive people or when you talk to your clients and friends?

    Thanks for all the videos and the other material, it's really helped me a lot!
    Sincerely,

    Self-care-mode

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2016-07-27

    Re: Using metaphors to control and confuse

    Post by Self-care-mode on Wed Jul 27, 2016 5:13 am

    My ex was the same way. Then later began blaming me for the fact that we spoke in 'hypotheticals'. I then felt even more confused because I just thought he was trying to be poetic. He once asked 'why can't we just say what we mean' to which I replied 'because you'll have an emotional fit because you can't handle the truth'....that was near the end when I have just about had it with the gaslighting.

      Current date/time is Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:02 pm