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    Confusing NPD and BPD

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    Richard Grannon
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    Confusing NPD and BPD

    Post by Richard Grannon on Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:11 am

    Just answered a couple of interesting questions via a youtube comment on this video .




    Feel free to weigh in on this one!

    "Can a narcissist be "generous"?in the way to gain the love of estime? " Yes, often they will do great charitable deeds very conspicuously.

    "Other point would be also the lack of empathy, so it would mean that the codependents lack of empathy? What about that? If they do and they just are pleaser not because of their empathy but because of the constant fear of rejection that would make them really similar to the narcissists?"

    Let me help: codependent people pleasers do not lack empathy but they ARE sticking around because of a kind of "false empathy" (they/we will report feeling sorry for the abuser and not willing to "abandon" them) but it is motivated by a constant fear of rejection, yes.

    Narcissists are not predominantly motivated by fear of rejection, you are thinking of borderlines here I think. Its possible you may have read this online in your study, some authors conflate NPD with BPD... and so do some clinicians. Often, but not always, BPD and NPD show up together in the same person (comorbidity its called) but the author/clinician isnt skilled enough or trained properly to distinguish between the two.

    This is why Borderlines have such a bad reputation. Not every BPD has the NPD traits. In my humble opinion BPD becomes NPD when the BPD is full of toxic shame and self rejection and learns to push the attention away from themselves (something they will at times find very distressing as they think they are being "analysed" or "judged" or "shown up") by being outwardly critical or hurtful to others. They learn to make other people feel as insecure as they do to protect themselves and feel a bit better.

    These are just my observations, I cant back this up with any peer reviewed research at this point.


    "Dont Get Fooled Again" Red Flags of Narcissist Relationships
    CLICK "show more" to see the major red flags and what to do about them here... (please feel free to add your own in the coments) 1. do you frequently find th...
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    A2Z

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    Re: Confusing NPD and BPD

    Post by A2Z on Thu Sep 25, 2014 10:01 am

    We must never forget, that your typical narcissistic abuser will shut down any kind of questioning of their authority. Sometimes they will counteract such form of questioning with a rain of emotional terror off topic, to try to dis-regulate you emotionally.

    If you have encountered this, even from the kindest face, who seems most clever, you realise you have met with the zombie witch doctor. Even though, you might deny it, assume that it is You who is the problem, that you are the "crazy" one. You might not be. Remember get a second opinion & that no body has all the answers

    Remember kids, emotional health is not created by denying your feelings but exploring them.. & the use of a therapist is not there to disarm your defences but empower them. If you feel you are not being heard, you probably are not.

    CoCo

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    Re: Confusing NPD and BPD

    Post by CoCo on Thu Sep 25, 2014 10:53 pm

    This is one if the best vids! Had got me thinking some more..

    I absolutely agree that a narcissist can appear very generous - but it's absolutely for their own gain. To gain favour or to look good to others. When they are done, the generosity ceases - leaving you in the spot and bewildered.

    This red flag video has got me thinking about close friendships that I have had over the years, and friendships that I have now. It's tough to realise that I do often attract narcs - I fall right into their traps! And whilst they aren't always malignant, it is tough to realise they have no real care nor regard for me and mine. It's a front. It's sickening really. I don't see much difference between narcs and histrionics to be honest!
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    jazzycat

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    Re: Confusing NPD and BPD

    Post by jazzycat on Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:18 am

    Good video. I can't believe I missed this one.
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    gigiminer

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    Re: Confusing NPD and BPD

    Post by gigiminer on Tue Oct 06, 2015 8:56 am

    The naivete strikes home all too well for me. And I've used that term in the past to describe my interactions with others long before I tripped upon NPD. It's a big thing I'm working on, but it's going to be a long road. 50+ years of living this way - I can't trust my own judgment right now. At least I know that. Smile

    With the narc still here, he's been crossing boundaries I've set Had a very scary incident with him violating boundaries and it sent me into massive emotional flashback. Working that out now, but the video at least reminds me of things I keep forgetting.

    I'm dreading the "pay back" for reiterating my boundaries but beyond that, there's not much I can do. The dissociation kicks in and I forget everything I've learned. It's a long, hard road. One I'm taking quite willingly, but no one said it would be easy. Very Happy I'd much rather face my inner demons than this outer one. Twisted Evil

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