Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support

    Still reeling



    Posts : 3
    Join date : 2016-06-05

    Still reeling

    Post by Brickchic on Mon Jun 06, 2016 5:45 am

    Please help me. I am a year out from a brutal discard by my covert narc husband of 18 years. I have 2 daughters, 12 & 9 yrs old who are suffering as well. I have been trying my best to watch your videos and educate myself, increase my understanding - but my focus is practically non-existent. We've been left in the worst pickle you could possibly imagine and things (esp. myself) are spiraling out of control. I'm in the middle of a debacle of a disaster recovery from a hurricane, I'm in a state grant program to rebuild my house, in contract with a private builder, have no money coming in, and got completely hosed by an attorney. My husband sent me a 'separation agreement and property settlement' from another state by way of which I was advised to file for divorce (kind of against my will...) My attorney filed, told me to close our accounts, plowed through the rest of my $5000 retainer, and promptly quit - without filing a motion for support or anything else. My mortgage is now 90 days in arrears.
    I have had to move twice this school year - by myself - and I'm barely hanging on by a thread.
    I recently spent 2 months in a partial hospital (outpatient) women's trauma program based on DBT. It was a complete disaster. It triggered me into a complete tailspin and beyond erratic and out-of-character behavior. I've gotten monumentally worse, to put it mildly. They just cut me loose with no guidance whatsoever. I'm livid, beside myself, and lost.
    I simply don't know what to do/where to go with any of this. My church (Catholic) has been less than helpful, has offered no advice, support, or guidance and the kids and I are all suffering a crisis of faith to boot.
    I had a good life. I was a stay-at-home wife and mother - and a good one! - with a well-paid husband I adored. I had no idea of his nefarious activities until things started to fall apart and my eyes were opened to reality and the veil of denial lifted (still occurring on some levels.)
    Please - if you could point me in the right direction. Your ideas, philosophies, temperament, overall attitude and demeanor toward all of this resonate with me on some level but I feel so out of control and ill-equipped to grab hold of anything. Things I've tried have been disastrous to say the least. Therapy has been useless except for a little moral support or accountability at best.
    I really hope you can point me in the right direction - even to just point to other forums, vids, etc. on your sites in a more structured way as I can't seem to parse through the dirth of information. I know you are taking a break from coaching but I'm not opposed to paying for a consultation. My children are suffering and it's all too much for me. Thank you SO much for what you do. You truly are a blessing. You may be one of the only people on the planet who could help me. I need to grab my life (and self) back!


    Posts : 17
    Join date : 2016-06-11

    Re: Still reeling

    Post by blahblah77 on Sun Jun 12, 2016 8:50 am

    Hey I am new to this forum as well. I just want to offer some support and say I hope things go better for you. It sounds like a rough break. It looks like there is a lot going on. I see there is a "forced to parent with your abuser" thread in this forum that you may want to check out. Also if you look at there are some helpful courses - "overcome narcissistic abuse" course, "first aid kit", "remove the narcissistic malware" course, and some others might be helpful. Some books that I am reading to try to get myself back on track that have been helpful are Pete Walker's book on CPTSD "Complex PTSD: from surviving to thriving" and also Eckhart Tolle's "the Power of Now". If you go look up Richard Grannon's Assertiveness course I believe there is also a part in there about social magnetism. Building allies is also very powerful in trying situations. I'm just throwing it out there. Not like I'm an expert. Good luck I hope you are able to gain some control in your life.

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