Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach

Richard Grannon The Spartan Life Coach Narcissism Support


    I can't, I just cannot

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    AvisNubia

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2016-05-18

    I can't, I just cannot

    Post by AvisNubia on Wed May 18, 2016 8:59 pm

    I'm having a horrible time accepting that this kid (yes one of my dancers, I have a dance company, he's 23) is a narcissists. I just got off the floor from crying like a baby, shaking, unable to breath because he once again silent treatment and blocked me from Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook.  I said horrible things to him, got insanely jealous which were all a result of gaslighting and the devaluing phase I see now.  NO ONE gets why I'm pining for this guy...my husband keeps saying, "he's just a dancer".  But boundaries were crossed, I fed him, he lived with us for a few months, his mom kicked him out (narcissist)...he's the classic golden child/trophy kid.  I'm embarrassed to let this kid, I'm 48 be on my mind, want his approval and miss him.  I know we trauma bonded because I'm trapped in a very hostile academic workplace (have been for 8 years) and he was a student of mine and we "rescued" each other.  HOW do I get past the trauma bonding, and the hurt of rejection and abandonment? I lost my dad to cancer when I was in high school, my mom has had 3 strokes, I've lost both grandmothers and grandfather and my favorite uncle who raised me after my dad died...all before I was 40...I only know loss and abandonment so I am not going to let this kid do this to me...I get I probably attached this person but there's so much hurt and grief and fear.  Everyone likes this guy so I'm afraid of being rejected because everyone likes him...I'll be the bad guy..the unwanted again.  I can't do this...I've been strong my whole life.  I can't do this too...

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